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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27488119">flicker and burn</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/risquetendencies/pseuds/risquetendencies'>risquetendencies</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Haikyuu!!</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Accidental Voyeurism, Akaashi Overthinks Everything, Anal Sex, Bokuto-Akaashi-Kuroo Friendship, But Then He Did Himself And Bokuto Saw, Everything Works Itself Out, Fluffy Ending, Getting Together, M/M, Masturbation, Mutual Pining, Porn with Feelings, Really Akaashi Did This To Himself, Resolved Romantic &amp; Sexual Tension, Rimming, and they were ROOMMATES, mention of kuroken</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 21:07:22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>9,041</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27488119</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/risquetendencies/pseuds/risquetendencies</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Keiji didn’t care anymore. </p><p>The way this had happened was unimportant. The list of reasons he had crafted to hold back from admitting his feelings didn’t matter. The years he’d told Bokuto no seemed foolish. Right now, he was going to change his mind. Give in. And if it came back to bite him, he would accept the consequences.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>45</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>372</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>bokuaka lol screaming</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>flicker and burn</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I forever side-eye Akaashi because he's a difficult POV to write, but now I won't as much. One night, I felt unsettled for reasons I still don't know and then the idea for this oneshot appeared in my head. Writing Akaashi's struggle was cathartic. Maybe he was trying to help. Maybe not. But I appreciate you, Akaashi Keiji. You are the man after all.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It was hot inside. Far too hot for the sweater he had worn to dinner.</p><p>Keiji shifted his weight, leaning back into the cushioned booth. Conversation buzzed around him, interrupted by the occasional shout as patrons in the restaurant reacted to the game playing on TV at the bar. His head ached from the incessant noise, but it was at least interesting. So many variables to analyze when he grew tired of the chatter at his own table.</p><p>Yet, all the distractions in the world were not enough to block out the tension he carried inside him. The gnawing, overwhelming desire that he couldn’t let seep out. Well, could. But chose to ignore, and had ignored successfully for years.</p><p>Sometimes, not even he understood the decisions he made.</p><p>Keiji’s eyes flickered, appraising the man sitting to his left. He mapped the way Bokuto was leaning on the table, quivering with excited energy as he argued with Kuroo over the best movie night setup.</p><p>Currently, they were debating the arrangement of blankets and pillows for maximum comfort.</p><p>As he watched Bokuto, Keiji imagined his eyes darkening, muted green fading into black. It had been Bokuto to point that out to him, that their color sometimes changed. In his words, it was when Keiji focused especially hard on something. Or someone. The other takeaway Keiji had gained that day was that Bokuto watched him, too.</p><p>Knowing that fact didn’t help. Hadn’t helped, particularly as of late.</p><p>"It's just logical to get separate throw blankets," Kuroo said, loudly interrupting his thoughts. "Even though you guys aren't dating, someone will always try to hog the blanket when there's just one. Kenma is the worst blanket stealer. I bought my own, and he <em>still</em>-"</p><p>Keiji's head throbbed.</p><p>"Excuse me for a moment. I will be back."</p><p>He needed a break.</p><p>The conversation came to a halt. Both of his friends looked caught off guard, but said nothing. Keiji caught a vague nod from Bokuto. Across the table from them, Kuroo's eyes narrowed. He had to suppress the urge to glare at Kuroo in return. It was rather annoying, being dissected by someone who would actually call him out on his choices.</p><p>Perhaps the sole saving grace was that Kuroo was kind enough not to interrogate him in public.</p><p>But he was merciless at poking at the scab from time to time.</p><p>Keiji walked away, finding a sink in the restaurant bathroom to park himself in front of. He turned the cold taps on and splashed water on his face, willing his head to clear. The drink he'd had earlier and the buzz from it had long faded. He knew it wasn't the alcohol getting to him.</p><p>It was everything else in his life.</p><p>The stress of his latest project at work - he'd had to show tough love to his author. That hadn't been pleasant. Keiji could be strict if he needed to, but it was difficult for him to talk down to someone he felt that he worked for more than with. But that was an editor's role, sometimes.</p><p>The email from his mother sitting in his inbox, marked unread, asking if he was seeing anyone.</p><p>The way he was in love with his roommate, best friend, and ex-captain. </p><p>The way he had loved Bokuto for years.</p><p>The way Bokuto had requited those feelings for years.</p><p>The way that he had rejected Bokuto's confessions year after year.</p><p>The way they stayed in each other's life despite that.</p><p>Coolness spread across his skin, chilling it as Keiji leaned his forehead against the bathroom mirror. He forced himself to breathe out. Steam fogged the glass, and gradually, his anxious pulse slowed. He wasn't sure why he felt so sensitive on the topic tonight. But all it had taken was the idiotic movie night debate to stir him up.</p><p>Loving someone was a risk. It held as much potential for pain as it did happiness.</p><p>Physical pain for Keiji was one thing. He wouldn't seek it out, but he could probably tolerate taking a leap of faith if that was the sole consequence. It was the other kind of pain that made him a coward. What Bokuto and he had now was comfortable. Perhaps he wanted more, but he wasn't willing to gamble on losing everything if they drifted apart later.</p><p>Keiji had always been the cautious sort.</p><p>He wished he was gutsy like Kuroo, choosing to be in love without overanalyzing. Kuroo likely had it worse than him, dating someone he'd spent most of his life being friends with. Someone who would be hard to block out if they stopped caring for each other. High stakes.</p><p>And yet, apart from the typical anxiety of whether Kenma would agree to date him, Keiji couldn't recall Kuroo stumbling before the two got together. He had never questioned whether being honest about his love was the right choice to make.</p><p>Keiji used a paper towel to dry his face.</p><p>He didn't feel remotely composed, but taking a breather had taken the edge off the static in his head. Dinner was done. He could get through a little more interaction before heading home. Then perhaps he would crawl into bed and try to forget his problems.</p><p>It was a promise he made to himself often. He broke it every time.</p><p>Besides, it wasn't like he could go home without eventually running into Bokuto, his problem number one.</p><p>Inevitably, Keiji was in for a rough night.</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>. . . . .</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>When he returned from the bathroom, their table was empty. A waitress informed him that Kuroo and Bokuto had gone outside.</p><p>Clean air sounded divine, so Keiji decided to follow them. It couldn't hurt at this point.</p><p>Five minutes, and then he'd make an excuse to leave.</p><p>Immediately after walking outside, he was greeted by a shout and a wave.</p><p>“Akaashi, come join us!”</p><p>Keiji’s automatic response to Kuroo addressing him had always been, rightfully, distrust. On a rational level, he knew throwing his guard up so quick was unmerited. Kuroo had the capability to be a trustworthy human being. He expressed that ability on a regular basis, like being a good listening ear for his friends or a solid voice of reason if the issue required one.</p><p>But Kuroo could also be conniving when he wanted to.</p><p>His eyes surveyed the situation. On the low, stone wall that surrounded the restaurant patio and backed up against the business next door, Bokuto and Kuroo sat. Their arms were draped over each other’s shoulders in a familiar pose. Probably, some anecdote from high school had been brought up, and sentimental feelings had emerged to inspire them to embrace each other.</p><p>Then again, more and more as the years went by, those two needed less of a reason to act out. Bokuto responded well to physical contact, whether it was slaps on the back or something as simple as a fist bump. Kuroo likely got a kick out of what hanging on Bokuto made people around them react like. A provocateur to the highest degree.</p><p>He wasn’t concerned about Kuroo having ulterior motives. For all his mischief, Kuroo was pure-hearted, and had eyes for only one person. </p><p>Keiji sighed, feeling drained.</p><p>Why did he place himself in these situations? Being the third man to Bokuto and Kuroo's antics ensured trouble happened more often than not. He did enjoy their liveliness, but the price of such company was steep. Tonight, he wasn't really feeling up to it. The tension building in his chest was unignorable, even if he had no clue why it had chosen now to surge to the surface.</p><p>Something was different tonight; he felt it on an instinctual level. </p><p>Which was strange. Rather uncharacteristic for him. Keiji didn't operate off of gut feelings. Logic served him best. </p><p>“I will not be doing that, Kuroo-san. I simply want some fresh air.”</p><p>“Akaashi, join us!” Bokuto chimed in, crooking his free hand in a come-hither motion. Keiji shot him a peeved look.</p><p>Sometimes, he wondered just how much Bokuto was aware of his charms. How difficult it was to resist indulging him, when he acted so genuine and welcoming. Bokuto likely knew. There was a certain wiliness that lurked beneath his airheaded veneer. Keiji had seen it in the snap observations Bokuto made to people. How to make a breakthrough on the court. A keen piece of advice on a personal problem that no one expected him to contribute anything of worth to. The way he fished for compliments when he'd managed an incredible feat.</p><p>Bokuto wasn't that book smart, but he knew what he was capable of as a person. Was good at sensing that in others. </p><p>“No thank you.”</p><p>"Missing out!" Kuroo replied. He smirked and patted Bokuto's shoulder. "We're prime snuggling material."</p><p>"Then please enjoy yourselves without me."</p><p>"Akaashi! It's no fun if anyone gets left out," Bokuto stated. "You're probably cold anyway. So come on. Kuroo's hands aren't even that bad tonight, they're lukewarm!"</p><p>"Kuroo-san has a boyfriend he can use his hands on if you're not enough for him."</p><p>"Actually, I think Kenma appreciates a night off." Kuroo hummed. "He has to be in the mood to cuddle. Bo never denies me."</p><p>Keiji stared at him blankly.</p><p>If he hadn't known Kuroo and Bokuto so long, he would have wondered what their relationship truly was. But even though he knew, it didn't stop Keiji from thinking that the two of them had something unique. He didn't have any friendships quite like theirs. Not even with Bokuto, who made plays for his affection regularly. Were things less complicated, he would have wanted those strong arms around him in all manner of ways, not just the innocent ones. Kuroo didn't want that from Bokuto.</p><p>"The answer is no. I'm heading back in. I can see there is no hope of me finding any peace out here."</p><p>Before he could retreat back into the sanctuary of the crowded restaurant, two iron grips clamped around his wrists, and dragged him over to the low wall, shoving him unceremoniously into a sitting position. Keiji hefted a deep sigh, caught between the terrible duo he called friends as they draped themselves over his shoulders.</p><p>The air was still cold outside, even with the added weight on him, but this did not match his vision of clearing his head.</p><p>He would concede, though, that it was the slightest bit comfortable between the two of them.</p><p>Unconsciously, Keiji settled in.</p><p>"You have five minutes, and then you will both cease this nonsense," he outlined sharply.</p><p>"Be more honest, Akaashi! We have all night!"</p><p>"See?" Bokuto sounded smug, but Keiji was willing to forgive him when Bokuto tightened his grip, bringing him closer. "You always wear that sweater when you think you're gonna be cold. But now you don't have to be, because you've got us!"</p><p>"We'll keep you nice and warm," Kuroo added, laughing into his other ear. </p><p>Keiji felt less gracious then.</p><p>"Is that how you speak to men you aren't dating, Kuroo-san?"</p><p>"Oya oya? Did that get you hot instead of warm? I wasn't even trying," he replied. A smirk was somehow audible in his words. "Though, I'm sure we can find you someone if you're feeling lonely. Maybe someone who's closer by than you think."</p><p>If Keiji focused, he knew it was entirely possible to reach and stomp on Kuroo's foot. Perhaps he would even be released from this prison if he managed to inflict a painful enough blow.</p><p>"C'mon Kurooooo, Akaashi isn't casual. He'd only hook up with a guy he already likes a bunch."</p><p>Keiji tilted his head, not quite looking at Bokuto but wanting to.</p><p>The analysis wasn't wrong, but how quickly Bokuto had come to that conclusion was strange. Was that something he'd thought about? Often?</p><p>He wasn't casual.</p><p>But he couldn't have the one person he might consider letting into his bed, for exactly that reason. Because if he did, there would be nothing casual in the way he enjoyed himself, or how he would strive to turn the night into a more stable arrangement.</p><p>A laugh echoed. </p><p>"And yet, that means he still has a chance," Kuroo pointed out. Thoughts of violence played on loop in Keiji's head. "It's not like Akaashi doesn't have friends or coworkers he's charmed. Maybe he'd consider one of them."</p><p>On one of his fleeting glances, he caught Bokuto's lips twitching sadly, absorbing the idea. The weight of the arm he had draped over Keiji's shoulder seemed to lessen as he stopped clinging so hard. </p><p>"Kuroo-san, that is enough."</p><p>The words were sharp as they left his lips. He said it without thinking. But he didn't regret saying them.</p><p>Not when it seemed to lighten Bokuto's expression.</p><p>Awkward silence spanned between the three of them. Keiji sat rigidly in between the other two men, trying to decide on an excuse to leave. This newest topic felt like it had lasted for an eternity, so his polite five minutes of company were long since fulfilled.</p><p>He needed to be alone.</p><p>But he was beat to the punch.</p><p>“I’m going to go call Kenma. He should be finished with the playathon. I want to make sure he ate.”</p><p>With one great surge of movement, Kuroo peeled himself away and bounded off toward the side of the restaurant. He moved with surprising agility. Keiji assumed there was a reason for it. Perhaps Kuroo had developed separation anxiety. Or perhaps the time was past due for him to annoy his significant other. There had to be a quota he tried to meet.</p><p>Whatever the case, Kenma's lot in life was not enviable. </p><p>Shifting around, Keiji found he wasn't able to adjust his position by much.</p><p>With a jolt, he realized Bokuto’s arm was still draped over his shoulder. They were alone, practically embracing.</p><p>And neither of those variables was changing anytime soon.</p><p>Keiji frowned. He had been right not to trust Kuroo.</p><p>The suspiciously fast exit after getting them caught up in this intimate pose was clue enough that he had intended to leave them alone all along. Kuroo probably found it amusing imagining how they'd react. He knew everything that lay between Bokuto and him.</p><p>But Kuroo didn’t need to interfere. Their relationship status wasn't his decision to make. Yet, when had that ever stopped him?</p><p>He truly was a giant pain-in-the-ass sometimes.</p><p>"I bet Kozume just ate sweets while he streamed," Bokuto commented. </p><p>"That is likely true."</p><p>Keiji tried to relax. The neutral topic helped. It was fine. He could endure their position until there was a good pause to break it off. But not for a while. He wouldn't want to give Bokuto the idea that them sitting like this was forbidden.</p><p>He simply was too weakhearted to survive having Bokuto's arm around him for very long.</p><p>Already, his imagination was waking up. He zoned out, losing track of the conversation. Keiji revisited the last time they had been close like this, two weeks ago when they'd binge watched their favorite drama. </p><p>A single blanket had been involved, an old, heavy quilt that Bokuto had inherited from his family. It was big enough that they were able to wrap it over both of their shoulders and cocoon beneath it on the couch.</p><p>"And I said to Coach-"</p><p>As the night had worn on, their shelter had grown warmer, and Keiji had grown increasingly aware of every point where their bodies brushed together. His focus had drifted from the show, coming back in abrupt fashion when Bokuto's hand had slid over, covering his. For a moment, just to get his attention and ask if he wanted another drink.</p><p>Or at least, that was what Bokuto had claimed. But when Keiji had declined the drink, his hand had stayed put.</p><p>On his next day off, Keiji had rewatched the last few episodes to properly absorb them. </p><p>Sometimes, he thought about the roughness of Bokuto's palm against his hand. It was enough to make his soul fly, if he let himself really explore the memory.</p><p>"-told him it has to be-"</p><p>Keiji inhaled, pulse fluttering as he smelled a hint of Bokuto’s cologne. It reminded him of a forest, the scent of the trees when the wind blew through, stirring the pine needles. The scent was pleasant, and Keiji found himself leaning into Bokuto’s side heavier, eyes flickering to the side now and again to watch him. Bokuto was too busy talking to notice.</p><p>For a brief, wild moment, Keiji considered flipping the script. Reaching up to cup Bokuto’s jaw, turning it toward him, and claiming his full, plush lips. Inhaling the cologne from a closer vantage point, and finding out what the inside of Bokuto’s mouth tasted like.</p><p>The song overhead changed.</p><p>Bokuto glanced at him, expression shifting. With gradual movements, he retracted his arm from around Keiji's shoulder until they sat side by side, unentangled. He pursed his lips, thoughtful about something.</p><p>Whatever it was didn't seem like a topic Bokuto was excited to open. If anything, he looked conflicted. His eyes drifted toward the patio floor, boring into the concrete slabs woven into a mosaic pattern. Around them, the music slowed to a faint whining ballad. The haunting beat stoked the anxiety Keiji felt as he waited to learn what Bokuto would ask.</p><p>"So... can we talk about the lease? It's up next week."</p><p>Ah, there it was. </p><p>Realization flooded through Keiji as Bokuto paused. There it was, the reason he felt so off tonight.</p><p>Living together had been an easy decision when they'd made it. Their workplaces were close enough to make commuting logical, and their jobs demanding to where it was a relief to share household chores with someone. Picking each other as roommates was less risky than finding a stranger to rent with. And, it meant they had an excuse to be around each other beyond friendly outings.</p><p>
  <em>"How close are you willing to get before you get burned?"</em>
</p><p>Kuroo's words sprung to the surface. He'd asked that question when he'd heard Bokuto and he were moving in together.</p><p>Their argument had been a long one that night.</p><p>Keiji frowned.</p><p>He hated to admit that Kuroo was correct, but the limit was probably approaching. The delicate balance Bokuto and he had built of being intimately <em>not</em> together was never meant to last. There was only so long that he could keep Bokuto for himself and pretend friendship was sufficient. It wasn't. It never had been since the day Keiji realized he had fallen in love. </p><p>But he would risk most pain to be with Bokuto somehow.</p><p>What they had was preferable to letting his guard down, letting that love run free, and them breaking up someday. If he gave in, something would inevitably occur that would make Bokuto hate him, regret ever confessing to him in the first place. Countless nightmares when they were younger had instilled that fear in Keiji. It was why he'd rejected him. </p><p>He couldn't-</p><p>He couldn't let what they already shared be tainted. He couldn't risk that. </p><p>Bokuto was the star in his sky that Keiji always looked to when he needed inspiration. Without that guiding light, he'd just be lost.</p><p>"I don't wanna renew it."</p><p>Something cracked, scattering pain through his guts like shards of broken glass. Keiji exhaled, trying not to let the despair show on his face.</p><p>This was it, wasn't it?</p><p>Some part of him had known it was coming. That was why he'd felt so sick all night, wasn't it?</p><p>"I'm just gonna say it, Akaashi!" Bokuto blurted out, volume rising. "I want more than just living with you. I wanna share a bed. I want it to be <em>our</em> place. I want to call you my partner."</p><p>His face pinched. It was nothing in comparison to how Keiji felt on the inside.</p><p>"I wouldn't keep bringing it up if I didn't think maybe you wanted the same. I know you do. You just... won't," Bokuto trailed off. On his knee, his fist curled and uncurled restlessly. His voice was quiet, but carried a deep, abiding sadness. </p><p>Guilt shot through Keiji, making his heart clench.</p><p>Suddenly, he remembered the first confession back in high school. How Bokuto had gone from looking hopeful and so, so in love to stunned to tears slopping down his face in the space of a minute. Keiji had never felt more ashamed in his entire life. He had never doubted his decisions more. </p><p>He did want to accept the words, but he had been - <em>was</em> - terrified of the possibility that he could make Bokuto feel worse.</p><p>"So, I decided I'm gonna stop letting you get away with that."</p><p>Keiji's eyes snapped onto Bokuto.</p><p>"I've tried to understand, but I can't. I know you're scared. Probably, you thought of a hundred ways where something goes wrong. You're good at that. You've always been good at overthinking stuff. But that's not how life goes! How we'll be together can't be predicted."</p><p>Panic soared in his heart. Reflexively, Keiji stood. He wanted to run. Bokuto was talking far too much. He was serious. He was making sense, and that was a bad omen if ever Keiji had heard one.</p><p>Bokuto stood too. His arm shot out, gripping one shoulder to prevent Keiji's escape.</p><p>"I love you! But both of us deserve better than trying to ignore it. Please give me a chance to show you it can go okay."</p><p>He locked their gazes.</p><p>"I'll love you no matter what, I think. But I can't wait no more, 'Kaash," he sighed. "I wanna hold you and it hurts so bad when I know I have to stop... because you won't let me get any closer. We need to figure this out. For good."</p><p>Bokuto swallowed hard, and Keiji watched his throat ripple intently.</p><p>"Do you want me? Would you let me have you?"</p><p>Keiji couldn't answer. So he didn't.</p><p>The lack of a response didn't seem to deter Bokuto, as there was a renewed sense of purpose in his next utterance.</p><p>"Think about it. If you want to, get dressed tomorrow. Meet me at our front door at 10. We'll get brunch," Bokuto said, rattling off the sentences as if he had rehearsed them beforehand until they were flawless. "It'll be a date, you and me. Nice and simple. I'm telling you what will happen, so you don't need to overthink it, 'Kaashi."</p><p>There was a longing as he ran his hand over Keiji's bicep, skating it downward until it cupped his waist. Bokuto's fingers flexed where they landed, pressing in tight even through the thick layer the sweater presented. A shiver rolled down Keiji's spine. He found himself transfixed by the passion reflected in Bokuto's golden gaze. Inside his chest, his heart jackhammered away, the beat painful and aching.</p><p>He couldn't form a single word. Bokuto's presence suppressed all ability for him to speak.</p><p>"If we do, if you agree... then after our date, when we're alone, I'm gonna kiss you. More than once. Everywhere. Nice and simple."</p><p>Keiji exhaled shakily.</p><p>A lump built in his throat as he ran the scenario, imagining them as they were, but in the daylight. In some side street, or maybe in the hallway of their apartment. Bokuto surrounding him, backing him against the nearest wall. Bokuto looking at him as he was now, as if when their lips met, they would both combust from the resulting collision. Taking, not asking.</p><p>If he just, if he were to reach out now-</p><p>Keiji hissed out a breath.</p><p>No. As much as he wanted to give in, as tempting as it was to cut through everything and indulge himself, it was dangerous. He had denied Bokuto - and himself - for so long, that such an action had to be carefully considered. Whatever he decided on, it was going to change things between them. Forever. He had no doubt of that. This was the last time they would meet at the crossroads.</p><p>Bokuto's unnatural intensity made that clear. Either they were going to become something else now, or they never would.</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>. . . . .</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>Don't overthink it.</p><p>Keiji was attempting to follow that wise advice. </p><p>Before he could ever hope to consider Bokuto's proposal properly, there were steps that needed to be taken. He needed to clear his head. Given the thoughts running through it currently, there was just one way to ensure he regained his composure.</p><p>No further words had been exchanged between Bokuto and him earlier. There hadn't been a need. Bokuto had made his case, and the ball was in Keiji's court now to decide. He'd left the restaurant not long after Kuroo had returned from his phone call. When he'd departed, the other two men had struck up a conversation.</p><p>He assumed talking would keep Bokuto occupied for some time. At least long enough that Keiji could disappear into his room, and get himself in the correct mindset.</p><p>Bokuto not being home made things simpler.</p><p>With a few deft motions, Keiji finished folding his clothes and set them on his desk chair. Apart from the sweater, he was naked. Which could be a mistake to leave on, but despite the very specific heat pulsing through parts of his body, he still felt cool from the outside air walking home. Once things were squared away, he knelt on his bed, contemplating how to tackle the issue.</p><p>It didn't take long to decide. </p><p>Settling in on his back, he pulled a bottle of lubricant out of his bedside table, laying it near his hip. It never hurt to be prepared - once he allowed himself to imagine, to explore his passion, he easily grew impatient. Floundering around for supplies at that point was liable to ruin the entire experience.</p><p>Keiji shut his eyes.</p><p>There were many images he could stew on, but the one from two weeks ago wasn't a bad starting point.</p><p>He ran a hand down his chest slowly, picturing it feeling rougher than the smooth slide of his own palm. Difficult, but he managed. As Keiji's hand moved, he felt goosebumps rise on his arms, a faint whisper of arousal settling in his groin. He thought about the way Bokuto's hand had felt, surprising him by moving over, covering his hand. It was a sneaky gesture, something Bokuto knew he was taking a risk on, but couldn't bring himself not to do. Keiji relished the boldness.</p><p>Bokuto would never do anything he truly disliked, at least not on purpose. He knew that.</p><p>He loved Bokuto for knowing his boundaries, but pushing them all the same out of unbridled eagerness to gain contact.</p><p>It was flattering in a way. Endearing, perhaps.</p><p>Circling back up, he thumbed at one of his nipples, pressing hard with the pad of his thumb. Flicking it and finally using two fingers to pinch. The bud stiffened quickly, and Keiji turned his head, laying it to one side on the mattress. His mouth ran dry. He frowned.</p><p>It was good, it felt perfectly divine. But something in him needed more, and quicker, and harder.</p><p>There weren't many options other than-</p><p>Impatience rising, Keiji gave up on the subtle touches and reached for the bottle. Uncapping it, he slopped clear gel over three of his fingers. With his clean hand, he replaced the lid and tossed the bottle away. But not far. If there was anything that would stoke his irritation more, it was having to go searching for more lube.</p><p>Splaying his legs open wider, he reached down, tracing his rim with the middle finger.</p><p>Instant flickers of gratification kindled. Once more, he allowed himself to indulge, switching over to another fantasy.</p><p>Bokuto's words earlier had stirred him. The promise in them was intense. Bokuto wanted to kiss him, only, he had been clear about wanting more than just Keiji's lips. He wanted to kiss him everywhere, over and over again, until both of them were spent.</p><p>Groaning, Keiji rubbed the finger against his puckered entrance, sliding over the sensitive skin teasingly.</p><p>Here? Was this one of the areas Bokuto had in mind?</p><p>More than once, he'd thought about Bokuto between his legs, that voracious mouth devouring him inside out. His imagination was insistent on Bokuto fucking him fast and sloppy with his tongue, flicking it against his walls greedily and pressing in harder as Keiji's hips tried to squirm away. Yet, the last thing Keiji wanted if he ever found himself in that blessed position was for the stimulation to stop. He wanted to be eaten, Bokuto's lips sucking around his hole, the rumble of the moans Bokuto made vibrating across his skin.</p><p>Keiji hissed, hips quivering as he felt the stretch of his finger bottoming out in his ass. Before he could overthink it, he rubbed the tip of the second digit against his hole, and started to press in. Urged on by the increasing friction, his cock swelled, laying flushed and hard against his abdomen. Heat spread through him, and the feeling of being in control was steadily evaporating.</p><p>He knew he was rushing, but he couldn't really help it. </p><p>He needed to clear his head.</p><p>To decide if he was willing to risk it all for things like he was imagining. More than that, though. If he was gambling, Keiji wanted the whole package. To be satiated. To be loved, and to have his best friend at his side without setting any ground rules on what that meant for them. All or nothing. That was only fair for both of them.</p><p>Flexing his fingers, he spread them apart. Slow, and aching, Keiji started to thrust, fucking in deep, pulling almost out, then spreading the digits again. The camera roll in his head provided images of Bokuto straddling his chest, scooting close enough to shove the head of his cock between Keiji's lips. His thick, beautiful cock. Keiji had never had the pleasure of seeing it in its full glory. But his imagination made up the difference between the old, stolen glances in the locker room and the newer ones in the hall of their apartment, when Bokuto forgot a towel post-shower. </p><p>Keiji licked his lips, and pictured the salt of Bokuto's precum leaking on his tongue as it traced the slit of his cock. The ache in his jaw as it was abused, as Bokuto propelled deeper in his throat, muscular body heavy on top of him, keeping him pliant and where Bokuto wanted him. </p><p>Where he wanted to be. He could also be a voracious eater, given the opportunity.</p><p>The blunt ends of his fingers struck his prostate. Keiji nearly yelped.</p><p>Control was an illusion now. But he couldn't let go completely. It felt obscene, letting his voice out so loudly when he was using someone else's image to get off. Not that anyone had to know. It was his secret. Still-</p><p>Taking the reins back from his runaway lust, he pulled his fingers out, drying them on the sheet.</p><p>The problem was, he also felt impatient. Caught between the desire to finish quick and start considering tonight's major dilemma, and the desire to rail himself into a state where thinking was impossible. Bokuto had been so perfect tonight. His scent, the feel of him when they embraced, his hand on Keiji's waist, holding tight, his piercing golden eyes.</p><p>And the boldness, once more.</p><p>Outlining exactly what he wanted, how he planned to make it happen. Giving Keiji the option to decide, but letting him know what was ahead, nullifying any loose ends that Keiji's analytical brain could latch onto and fret over. Bokuto knew him too well, sometimes. </p><p>How perfect the offer was was almost underhanded.</p><p>The proposal was freeing in a way Keiji hadn't expected. All the other confessions had been gentle things. Bokuto laying his heart out on the line, offering everything to him but not pushing. Bokuto had been patient. Tonight, he was less so. He was firm. Acknowledging the reasons Keiji had refused him in the past, and providing an answer to that. Taking the uncertainty away, and leaving Keiji with the less monumental task of asking himself: if the pressure was off, was them being together something that would make him happy?</p><p>Keiji lifted the collar of his sweater higher, stuffing it into his mouth. His cock twitched, reminding him it desired attention, release.</p><p>He didn't think that he really needed to consider that much.</p><p>If that was the only variable, he knew his answer.</p><p>Bokuto made him feel on top of the world, like he too was a star. Happy was an understatement, and practically guaranteed.</p><p>Maybe he would take the leap.</p><p>A trust fall.</p><p>With any luck, he wouldn't tumble right into the flames.</p><p>Keiji wrapped his hand around the head of his cock, rubbing his thumb into the slit and spreading around the precum to make himself wet. Reaching for the bottle near his hip, he poured more lube out over his length, running his fingers down it until it was entirely coated.</p><p>Patience was in short supply for him now. There could be no more delays, or he would scream, gag or no gag.</p><p>With no more hesitation, he started to jerk himself off, fisting his cock and contributing to the ever-tightening coil of arousal within him. His fingers locked, pulling quick without ceasing. Keiji kicked out with a sudden punch of pleasure, leg sliding against the smooth canvas of his sheets and ruffling the sparse bit of hair he had. It felt beautifully wrong to imagine Bokuto's hand grabbing his calf, forcing it back against his chest so Bokuto could plow deeper inside him. </p><p>He wanted to know what that felt like with every remaining fiber of his sanity.</p><p>Keiji bit the hem of his sweater, increasing the pace of his stokes and squeezing harder around the shaft of his cock. The taste of wool filled his mouth, fabric dampening as it scratched against his tongue. He exhaled through his nose, and dragged his fist, working over his erection with the maximum friction he could craft.</p><p>Sweat beaded on his brow, and as his pleasure spiked, he whined, the sound muffled by his self-imposed gag. The flush on his face spread south, pinkening the skin of his chest and suffusing him with unbearable warmth.</p><p>So close-</p><p>Keiji blinked, attention drifting out in front of him. Across the room, his bedroom door stood a few inches ajar. He hadn’t cared to shut it properly. There was no need to, even with what he’d had in mind upon arriving home.</p><p>Only, the hallway wasn’t completely dark anymore. Faint light from the living room broke through the shadows, illuminating a short section of the corridor. He hadn’t turned on any lamps.</p><p>And he wasn’t alone anymore, either.</p><p>Bokuto stood in the patch of light, jacket pulled half off his shoulders, rooted to the spot as he stared down the hallway and into Keiji’s room.</p><p>Caught, Keiji’s eyes widened, unable to process the shock.</p><p>He wondered what color they appeared to be now.</p><p>Horror dawned as he stared back through the opening at his roommate. This was out of the realm of his expectations. It wasn’t supposed to be a possibility. Bokuto had been locked in conversation when he'd left the restaurant. That fact was supposed to have given him the apartment to himself a little longer, more time alone before they were face to face again.</p><p>Time that he would use to process what had transpired between them on the patio earlier. And never, <em>never</em> was Bokuto seeing him like this meant to be an option. Not when it was Bokuto he was imagining as he indulged the uncontainable passion locked inside of him.</p><p>He froze.</p><p>Bokuto didn't.</p><p>Throwing off the jacket with one great flourish, Bokuto stalked toward him. His footfalls were heavy, eager, insistent on interrupting. Probably, there was no barrier on heaven or earth that could have prevented him from barreling into Keiji's room at that moment. He was a force of nature.</p><p>Soon, they were mere steps apart.</p><p>“Don’t stop.” Bokuto’s voice registered somewhere between a whisper and a groan. Golden eyes latched onto Keiji’s, firm and commanding in a way that was so rare for Bokuto. Just not tonight, as Keiji was repeatedly learning.</p><p>Perhaps Bokuto felt what he'd felt all evening. That simmering tension and unease that only they could solve for each other.</p><p>Bokuto swept closer, too close as he loomed in front of the bed. Keiji’s pulse raced, and with another step, Bokuto was leaning over him, his presence making Keiji flatten against the bed in the desperate attempt to put space between them. His heart thundered as he stared up at Bokuto, and the sweater slipped from his mouth.</p><p>Despite the freedom, he struggled to voice any words, struck dumb by the intensity of Bokuto’s stare, and the distinct pleasure of Bokuto’s warmth being close enough to jump onto his skin.</p><p>“Please don’t stop.”</p><p>Bokuto’s hand leapt forward, cupping his jaw, thumb stroking over his cheek. Their eyes locked, and Keiji’s cock twitched against his palm, fluid pearling at the tip.</p><p>“Bokuto-san,” Keiji finally managed. His voice felt raw. “I-” He wasn’t sure if he wanted to explain, confess, or just to say that name. He had never indulged his feelings in that way, speaking that name aloud, when he touched himself. It had always felt a step too far. Too indulgent.</p><p>His instincts had been correct. Saying it now, at this point, was almost enough to make him boil over.</p><p>"You're beautiful, 'Kaashi," Bokuto said, staring determinedly down at him. "Please tell me I'm the one making you feel so good."</p><p>Keiji shuddered, a shiver pulsing along his spine.</p><p>"Yes, <em>of course</em> it is you," he whispered. Swallowing hard, he forced the honesty from his throat. "It has always been you who makes me feel like this. I think about us often. Constantly."</p><p>Giving in to the part of him that was screaming for contact, he reached up, wrapping his arms around Bokuto's shoulders.</p><p>"If it is alright," Keiji added, feeling as though he was truly asking them both the question at the same time. "Can we make those thoughts a reality? Will you forgive m-"</p><p>Lips rammed up against his, taking and not sparing a breath for asking. Bokuto's mouth slotted against his, surging into Keiji with the hunger of years of desiring it. He kissed back, feeling his heart seize and moisture prick at the corners of his eyes. Bokuto's affection felt like home, felt right, like they had always been meant to fit together this way.</p><p>Beneath the fear, beneath the overanalyzing, he had known that to be probable. But now it was certain.</p><p>Time lost all meaning for a period, washed away by the urgent need for Keiji to kiss and be kissed by the man he was unreasonably in love with. He wasn't sure how long they remained entangled, only that gradually, Bokuto edged closer, his movements needier and the press of his arousal against Keiji's naked thigh more undeniable.</p><p>“Akaashi,” Bokuto breathed out. It was nearly a growl. “Want you.”</p><p>Any air he had left in his lungs evacuated in a rush; a shuddering breath that made his arms feel weak where they clung to Bokuto. The implications of those words made his desire flicker to life and burn. </p><p>Keiji didn’t care anymore. </p><p>The way this had happened was unimportant. The list of reasons he had crafted to hold back from admitting his feelings didn’t matter. The years he’d told Bokuto no seemed foolish. Right now, he was going to change his mind. Give in. And if it came back to bite him, he would accept the consequences.</p><p>“I want you also.”</p><p>They stayed connected as Bokuto tossed him higher on the bed, following him down with a dizzying mix of lips, teeth, and tongue. His weight crushed Keiji in the most delicious way, pinning him possessively as they kissed. It was a pit that Keiji could have sank into for eternity without complaint.</p><p>It lasted all of two minutes before both of them grew impatient.</p><p>Bokuto sat up, fumbling with the button on his pants, cursing under his breath as his fingers failed to work it open. A curse that turned to a gasp of surprise when Keiji surged up to help, getting the clasps open in under five seconds. Together, they worked the rest of his clothing off, and Bokuto kicked the offending articles off, somewhere further into the bedroom.</p><p>Keiji was allowed to drink in Bokuto's gloriously bare form for a few breathless, incredible seconds.</p><p>It mirrored, but somehow far exceeded his imagination.</p><p>"Get on your stomach."</p><p>Wordlessly, he complied, excitement bubbling up within him as he abandoned control.</p><p>Keiji’s breath stuttered as he felt Bokuto grab his hips, lifting them bodily to a better height. Bokuto’s hands felt impossibly strong and deft in their impatience, in their need of him. They gripped his hips for a fleeting second, then moved to hold him open, spreading his cheeks. Before he could process what was happening, Bokuto's tongue lapped over his hole.</p><p>With an embarrassingly loud moan, Keiji melted, head swimming as Bokuto's tongue made slow, dragging sweeps over his twitching entrance, wetting it down and humming against the already sensitive skin.</p><p>"Bokuto-san, please!" he articulated eloquently. "Don't... ah... tease."</p><p>A laugh rippled vibrated on Keiji's skin. He felt the sensation recede as the mouth on him lifted away.</p><p>"Says the guy who left his door open when he was touching himself thinking about me," Bokuto countered impishly. It was equal parts hot and infuriating. "Who's the tease again, 'Kaash?"</p><p>A hard point to refute, although Keiji's store of patience was still not sufficient to accept the consequences of his actions.</p><p>"Don't-" he began to say, only to be cut off.</p><p>"I should make you wait. But I was gonna do the same, was gonna think about all the places I'd kiss you after our date tomorrow. Your lips, your hands, your long, pretty cock. Here too," Bokuto rumbled, punctuating the statement with a slurp around Keiji's softening hole. </p><p>Keiji hissed, fingers gripping the sheets with rigid intensity.</p><p>"Bokuto-san, please," he repeated, quieter but with no less desperation in the request.</p><p>It seemed to work wonders, because within moments, Bokuto's mouth was back on him, tongue swirling around his rim once before jabbing inside. A moan burst from Keiji's throat, and he trembled, fighting the urge to buck his hips. </p><p>A futile idea, because the way Bokuto cupped his ass seemed to encourage rebellion, and the hum he gave when Keiji started pressing back was proof. Bokuto's tongue flicked against his heated walls, slicking him and stretching him further open. Before long, Bokuto's mouth was flat against him, lips suckling his hole and teasing it when his tongue pulled out to lick along the rim. </p><p>With one last wet slurp, he lifted his head.</p><p>Keiji felt boneless, loose and pulsing with desire. He needed-</p><p>Something hot pressed against him, and with a whimper, he realized it was Bokuto's erection sliding between his cheeks, rubbing along the cleft. Bokuto's breaths were heavy, and his fingers dug intensely where they held him. Craning his neck, Keiji looked over his shoulder for a glimpse.</p><p>He choked on a guttural call, the note escaping him roughly, making his throat feel raw.</p><p>Bokuto was beautiful. Breathtaking, if Keiji was being sentimental.</p><p>Molten gold eyes, plush lips parted and tongue flicking out in concentration. His hairstyle was falling apart, the snowy white strands tumbling down into a tousled, endearing mess. Lower, Bokuto's forearm muscles flexed, going taut as his grip tightened. </p><p>"Please... take me, Bokuto-san. I cannot wait any longer." The words felt unreal coming from his mouth, like a phrase out of one of his dreams, but Keiji didn't regret them for a second.</p><p>A little laugh echoed from above, sending chills shooting throughout his body.</p><p>"It's not just gonna be that, 'Kaashi. I'm gonna make love to you. Gonna make you feel it, how badly I've wanted you."</p><p>Shame didn't even cross his mind as Keiji whimpered at that promise.</p><p>"I know you've wanted me too."</p><p>He bit down on his tongue, a panting breath hissing out around it as Bokuto’s cock entered, its flared head spearing in and stretching him open. The shaft was thick, girthier than the stimulation his fingers could provide when he fucked himself on them. Keiji shuddered, feeling his body melt to the intrusion far too easily for the circumstances.</p><p>Bokuto let a low groan loose, the rough quality of it making Keiji’s length twitch.</p><p>“So good,” he praised breathlessly.</p><p>Had he been able to manage speech, Keiji might have agreed with that sentiment.</p><p>But his ability was further curtailed when Bokuto’s hips rolled in a slow thrust that forced his cock deeper. Keiji’s hands tightened their grip on the blankets beneath, a whine leaving him as he felt the insane friction pulse through him. It was too much and not nearly enough.</p><p>Pressing down with his hands for balance, he jerked his hips back, meeting Bokuto’s next thrust. Their skin slapped together audibly, and heat burned through Keiji’s chest as he processed the feeling. Trembling with pleasure, he controlled his movements, pressing back deliberately as Bokuto’s cock strove, meeting each swing of him until they were synced, their bodies grinding together in an increasingly needy rhythm.</p><p>Bokuto grabbed at him, his voice feathering out desperate moans as he tugged Keiji’s hips closer.</p><p>“Akaashi,” he chanted, enunciating the syllables carefully as if Keiji’s name was an affirmation.</p><p>“Yes, Bokuto-san,” Keiji encouraged, the name dropping from his lips with immense accompanying satisfaction.</p><p>He spared a hand to reach below, gripping and stroking his throbbing erection to help it along. That was unnecessary. Bokuto seemed to instinctively know where to slam in, how to handle his body to bring him the utmost sensation. But Keiji felt restless, like if he didn’t keep himself busy, if he didn’t move somehow, contribute, he would go crazy.</p><p>Yet there was a good chance that he might still do so anyway.</p><p>Bokuto’s pace increased, cock rattling Keiji with shallow but powerful thrusts. His breathing grew harsher, sensual, and when his voice echoed out again, it was back to the same growl that had driven them to this tenuous, delirious, point of no return.</p><p>“Mine,” he spoke, blanketing his chest over Keiji’s back. His arms encircled him, pressing their heated skin together unbearably close. He circled his hips knowingly, and fingers found Keiji’s, lacing around them where Keiji was gripping his cock and tugging the shaft in tandem with his efforts.</p><p>“’Kaashi, you’re mine now.”</p><p>He couldn’t argue. There was just one correction Keiji would have made to that declaration.</p><p>‘Now’ was far too late to be the whole truth. For years, Bokuto had owned his heart, possessed it along with his mind. That was nothing new, nothing groundbreaking. The only difference was that that ownership was glaringly obvious now, as they were wrapped up in each other this way. Neither of them was denying it any longer, or holding in what they both felt.</p><p>"Yes, I am yours, Bokuto-san," he gasped, heart fluttering. Admitting it felt better than he could ever hope to describe.</p><p>Another, greedier emotion welled up within him, prompting his next words.</p><p>"And you are mine."</p><p>He felt rather proud of the moan staking his claim inspired, and the way that in the next second, Bokuto was manhandling him until they were both kneeling upright. He never pulled out, and the new angle made Keiji feel twice as tight as he was taken. Hot, intense pleasure burned through him, and before long he was moaning shamelessly too.</p><p>His peak was rapidly building, and he was eager to make the ascent.</p><p>Reaching for his cock, he fit in a few searching strokes before Bokuto was knocking his hand away.</p><p>"Arms up. Wrap them behind you, around me. I'm gonna be the one who gets you there."</p><p>Keiji didn't doubt it.</p><p>Forcing himself to breathe through the tightness in his chest, he looped his arms backward, around Bokuto's neck. The position left him little room to squirm away, hardly any space between their bodies. Which considering the situation, was ideal for him now.</p><p>Teeth sunk into Keiji's earlobe, biting down softly. He trembled, expelling a harsh breath. A tongue poked out after, soothing the mark, and Bokuto began thrusting up into him once more, quick and merciless. Intermittently, he laved his tongue and teeth against whatever surfaces of Keiji's neck he could reach, crafting a canvas of bites.</p><p>"C'mon," Bokuto urged, fingers bruising into Keiji's sides as he held them both up. "Cum for me. Give me your all, Akaashi."</p><p>He had always expected so much from him, hadn't he?</p><p>Keiji squeezed his eyes shut.</p><p>Too much. Everything happening was overwhelming.</p><p>When he opened his eyes, it felt like he was in a haze. Words failed him.</p><p>Pleasure rolled through his nerve endings with each upward swing of Bokuto's hips, friction and force pushing him toward oblivion. Keiji groaned, and the noise echoed miles away. His arms strained, fingers lacing together tight and squeezing to abate some of the feeling. To resist the urge to move. Every muscle in his core was taut, and his cock was dumping regular precum as Bokuto fucked into him. There wasn't any other option. </p><p>Another rough thrust was all the trigger he needed.</p><p>Nearly sobbing, Keiji seized. Sensation flooded through him, his body quavering and clenching, and his vision blurred. His hips jerked forward and hot jets of seed arced through the air, dribbles of it painting his abdomen and falling onto the sheets under them.</p><p>Bokuto's voice sounded pleased as it crooned sweet nothings into Keiji's ear, encouragements of how beautiful he looked, how good he was. His movements slowed, but didn't let up. He rocked steadily into Keiji's ass as he rode out the high. Each thrust grew more erratic, Bokuto's breaths wispier in between words. His hips circled cautiously, keeping active but gentle. With how sensitive Keiji felt, the consideration was welcome.</p><p>Still-</p><p>"Please." He unlaced his fingers. Readjusting, Keiji stroked through Bokuto's hair, mussing the sweat-dampened strands. "Do what feels best..."</p><p>The request seemed to strike a chord.</p><p>He felt a gust of breath against the back of his neck, then lips. Bokuto sucked at his nape wordlessly, moaning into the mark he was forming. His thrusts sped up, and Keiji bit back a pained groan. Part of him wanted to force Bokuto out - rest - but more of him desired the perfect ache of Bokuto's cock moving within him, gapping him open, possessing his body.</p><p>It was only something he'd dreamed about for years.</p><p>"...Mm... 'Kaashi..."</p><p>Heat fanned over Keiji's face. Unconsciously, he began to push back into the thrusts, throaty gasps escaping when their trajectories collided and Bokuto bottomed out. His fingers gripped at whatever of Bokuto he could reach from behind him, desperately trying to pull him deeper. </p><p>"Love you, 'Kaash," Bokuto rumbled near his ear. "Gonna show you everyday. Like this," Bokuto's voice faltered. His hips started to shake, and Keiji felt fingers digging into his sides, squeezing hard. "And every way-"</p><p>Warmth flooded through him as Bokuto's cock spilled out. Keiji whimpered, suddenly feeling much fuller. </p><p>What could have been seconds or minutes later, he felt a pulsing soreness as Bokuto slipped out of him, moving as cautiously as possible. With tender movements, Bokuto brought them both down to lay against the pillows. They slumped against each other, neither having the cognizance left to care about cleaning up. </p><p>A hand brushed against Keiji's jaw, urging him to turn his head.</p><p>He stared across at Bokuto and found himself matching the shy, sweet grin being sent to him.</p><p>"Are you okay? I didn't hurt you?"</p><p>Keiji blinked, feeling his heart flutter again, painfully enamored.</p><p>He took hold of Bokuto's hand, bringing it to his mouth to ghost his lips over his knuckles. </p><p>"Never. I am so happy, Bokuto-san," he confessed. "It was everything I could have wanted." Faint embers of guilt kindled in his stomach, and he tried to bite back the regret in his voice, failing. "I... I apologize for hurting you. For being so stubborn."</p><p>"'Kaashi, you're stubborn, but not about this. You were scared," Bokuto interjected firmly. He sounded certain of that fact. "I never could hate you for that. I wanted you to feel okay with me, to be okay with us being us. It was really hard to wait, but you're worth it. You're like, my soulmate, you know?"</p><p>And just like that, Keiji was crying.</p><p>Bokuto's hand broke free of his grip, lacing their fingers together instead. He stretched closer, laying his forehead against Keiji's sweaty one. </p><p>"I love you. It might have hurt at times, but I'm strong, so I can take it."</p><p>Keiji squeezed his fingers in agreement.</p><p>He had never met anyone who exceeded that strength. It wasn't physical, though Bokuto possessed that brand in spades. There was something intrinsic in Bokuto's nature that despite his fluctuating moods and lapses in judgement, said he could tackle anything life tried to throw at him and emerge victorious. He was a brightly burning star whose light could never be snuffed out.</p><p>Not that Keiji would allow anyone to attempt to do so. Whatever the future held, all of his power would be devoted to preserving that glow.</p><p>"I love you," he said, feeling his stomach flip over as he added, low but bold, "my star."</p><p>Bokuto's sharp intake of breath spoke volumes. Keiji smiled, pleased by the positive response.</p><p>"What's with that, 'Kaash?"</p><p>He toyed with the idea of explaining, of detailing the moment when he'd first seen Bokuto soar through the air, strong and free. Keiji's entire universe had shifted, and it had led to this. Though, making Bokuto wait to find out the truth was a worthwhile tactic. A source of motivation for future good behavior.</p><p>"Perhaps one day I will tell you. Until then, feel free to wonder."</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>OKAY, I'm sure I'm hilariously unoriginal, but the idea of Akaashi calling Bokuto "my star" makes me so soft and tender. Ever since that BKAK meeting panel where he thinks of Bokuto that way, my headcanon was set in stone....</p><p>Anyway, not sure what else to say but hope you enjoyed the story, and if you did, let's be pals on <a href="https://twitter.com/risquetendency">Twitter</a> maybe?</p></blockquote></div></div>
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